Happy Mother’s Day!

I’m never really sure how to start one of these things. My name is Melissa. I am a follower of Jesus before all else. Then, I am a wife and mom of 5. We are a homeschool family, a venture that is a huge blessing, and not always easy. There is a gift for writing inside of me, and it has been called out in me for some time, by several. I have given the Lord many reasons, okay excuses, why I didn’t have time to write, or could not write in this, or previous, seasons. Then, my good friend Megan started writing again. (Shameless plug for her blog whattaholymess.com) I love reading what she writes! I could feel the pull of Holy Spirit saying it’s time. I have written some things, but I have delayed posting. Today, I was reminded delayed obedience is disobedience. God has shown me how much obedience to Him and His word truly impacts our life. So, I write…

It’s Mother’s Day weekend. An emotional weekend for many. There are people that I love and care about who aren’t traditional mothers, who have lost children, who don’t have children, who have lost their mother, and the list goes on. Either way, this weekend we celebrate the mothers in our life. The women who have helped raise and shape us in who we are today. Yes, I am a mother to five beautiful children. However, my family is not a “traditional” family. After three years of marriage we welcomed our beautiful son into our family. Experiencing pregnancy and delivery was something I was absolutely terrified of, but it was a beautiful experience and we were both healthy. Three and a half years later we welcomed our beautiful daughter into our family. Again, I had the amazing experience of growing a human inside my womb and delivering her. Childbearing and child birth is nothing short of a miracle. It is an experience I am thankful I could have, even though I was terrified, it was worth every moment.

Then, we became a foster family when our daughter was four. Our first placement was of a sibling group of three, and they were with us for three months. I don’t talk about that placement much because foster care is hard and some people don’t often like to talk about hard, they like sunshine and rainbows. I still have pictures of them, and a box of little gifts they made me at daycare. I pray for them when I think of them, which is more often than most will ever realize or know. They do have a special place in my heart. The weekend they moved was Mother’s Day weekend. Many people have this idea that if it is going to hurt, or be hard, we shouldn’t do it. That weekend was hard, incredibly hard. It wasn’t the first hard, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. I urge you, support foster families you know, without judgement. If they share their heart with you, be a safe place for them. Who are we to say what ministry God has called people into? Be mindful, hard isn’t bad, it’s just hard.

Our daughter was 5 and our son was 8 when we got the call for twins, 6 days old. By this point, we had decided for me to stop working outside our home and to homeschool Connor and Maddie. This allowed us the space to take newborns, as newborns were not able to go into daycare. The twins arrived two days after Christmas and we have always called them our Christmas babies. When they were 18 months old, in the middle of the covid craziness, we took in another newborn. We quickly had 1 son and 4 daughters. The twin’s adoption was finalized in April of 2021, and our baby girl’s adoption was finalized February 2022.

This is where I am going to park for a minute. These three little girls…I’m not their only mother. I share them with 2 other women. One of those women is not alive today. When this weekend rolls around, I grieve the loss of her life. We share a beautiful daughter, an absolutely beautiful little girl. The other woman I share motherhood with, I still talk to occasionally, and update her with pictures. Let’s talk about their bravery for a moment. These women chose life for 3 beautiful children. I understand their children came to me through foster care, and they made other choices that led to that happening. They still chose life for three beautiful little girls. That is brave, and the truth is they didn’t have to choose life, and the choice they made is not lost on me. I am thankful for their decision. These three little girls are world changers: one is a leader, one is full of empathy, and the other is full of more joy than I have ever seen inside a person.

Mother’s Day is a mix of emotions for me. I still have my mom, my husband still has his mom. We know that is a blessing, as we have friends who do not have their mothers. I have my children. When we decided to adopt I had this idea in my head: we would do private adoption and love on a precious birth mom and have an open relationship with her. God had a different plan. Both of these foster care placements led to adoption. Adoption is beautiful and heart breaking all at the same time. I am honored that God saw fit to allow me an opportunity to be their mother and welcome them into our home. I am thankful for the mothers I share them with and the brave choice they made.

This weekend we celebrate the women who are mothers, whatever capacity that may be. I’d venture to guess every woman out there is mothering someone, in some capacity, not just in the traditional sense. Women, celebrate the people in your life the Lord is allowing you to pour into and love on. Keep mothering well. Perfection isn’t the goal, God’s grace will fill in the gaps, just keep loving well.

Until next time…